Like a fish needs a bicycle

Had a half hour call last night with a guy who is after some alternative surfing craft, something I admire-after all, its a pretty generic surftech world out there and most Oregon shapers who have shops and stores are not doing anything new (epoxy doesn't really count as 'new', does it?)
When was the last time you saw some freak of foam come out of a shapers shack in Oregon?
How about a Hull?
A SUP?
A retro fish?
No?
A Simmons looking thing?
Again, no?
(I do not count, I am not a shaper but a poor ass surfer who only builds because I can't buy boards with my EBT food stamp card)
So we are chatting away, relating experiences and suddenly, I know whats coming...
Alaia...
"Could you?"
Uh...
Well yeah but...
Where are you going to ride it?
I have a plethora of spots to choose from but I can't think of one where this design would work. This isn't a warm watered and friendly ocean we are dealing with up here. A 3/4" thick by 7'0" by 17" relatively flat piece of wood is not going to go well at most spots up here.

Of course, Cape Kiwanda has the perfect set up for it, crowded, kooked out and a wave that merely dribbles even its best day. But some Soul Pumpkin from Ptown would be so styley on the thing, carving and sliding through the crowd on his way to a 5.00 pint at the pub.

Hmmm...ok, how long and what kind of wood?

Nah, aint happening, I can't shape something that will grace a wall more than it will ever be surfed.
But those of you who might be after one, check your skills first by surfing without fins. And I don't mean running out and buying a 'finless' board as I know those are 'all the rage'.
But grabbing your 5'2", pull the fins and go.
Good luck.
After the tenth time you are pile driven into the sand, get back to me.

Sure, Cyrus makes it look easy at Cardiff, you aint nor am I Cyrus. Cyrus couldn't walk on the beach up here without getting blown along the shore like so much tourist trash. Are you 130 lbs wet?
Me neither.
But if someone wants to shape one, its simple.
Shape a giant skate deck.
That way, after you realize just how hard it is to ride one, you can at least put wheels on it and bomb Mt. Tabor.

(note: Cape Kiwanda is an awesome wave with lots of awesome locals and awesome people visiting every chance they get. I could only hope to be as chill and as radical as those who frequent Oregons' Premier Surf Spot)

See ya!

3 comments:

Doc said...

I think that an alaia would be the perfect summertime/kookville/crowdbuster diversion board at Brohampton...

Just maintain your personal liability coverage...

So your dismissal/rejection/tossoffedness seems somewhat misplaced...

I am pondering/contemplating a wood shape...

My personal problem/shortcoming/psychosis is overthought.

Why not shape/carve it?

They're buying/paying right?

You're test riding/crashing right...

Verification = whynot/fadiness

retro shaper said...

Crash testing, yeah, I would be swimming for weeks after the thing!
I lost my fin a few weeks back and had to paddle in, no thanks.
We all need a sense of direction...

Doc said...

A recent article I read somewhere...
Prolly the Journal...
Referred to the fact that early surfers rarely had to swim in after their boards...
Wood boards, due to their weight & density, typically popped out the back of waves like a piece of driftwood would...
Noll, Curren, and the rest of the early buoyant balsa & faom riders were really the ones that became proficient swimmers...
As their boards were the ones that rolled all the way in onto the beach...
Anyway, possible solid wood board advantage?
Word verification = fkntryit